finally ..!

i'm through aaaaall my exams! ♥ just 3-4 little things to do left.
it was a really horrible time, i had always sth on my mind and was totally under stress! still a liiiiittle bit left but the nice weather here makes me forget it and relax. ~
even though i wanted to stay neutral here and kinda stay "anonymous" i'll just stop it. cause otherwise i couldn't post a few things i have on my mind.



first of all
.. my new two sherlock homes novels arrived this morning! 
waited so long for them! thought i have to write them an email but luckily there's no need for it anymore. ~


today is the first free day for so long, so i planned on going shopping. ♥
asked my sister to go with me, but i think i'll just go alone. cause i think just being alone and go for a stroll could be really nice, too. ★

.

always hiding the sadness and anger
always holding back the tears
always hoping for a change

it hurts. it really does.

|:

just again i saw some pictures of friends and their friends having fun and so on.
seeing them so happy even if they, too, got their own styles and are a bit different from the norm, they still seem to enjoy their live so much. i really, really envy them for that.
because every single, little thing can hurt me.. i have to learn to differentiate between the things that are important to me.
even if i know that it makes no sense to think about this or that i still do it.. and that's really horrible.
i just don't want that. it's good for nothing and just makes yourself down.
yes, i know that. i know it. but still.. my heart feels so heavy.

i want to be confident.

*__*

gosh, i totally forgot to post about something yesterday!
the thing is .. that AWESOME guy i've written about added me yesterday *____*
i know .. it's probably nothing behind that because he has about 4,5k friends there but still .. it really made me happy. ♥

by the way.
on the 24th June is going to be another little event. i'd like to go with some of my friends there but nothings clear yet... i hope it will work out.

root for me.
_

i have to exert myself more ...

waah ♥

today was really an aaawesome day!
it was so much fun! we went shopping, we went strolling next to the river where the event took place in, made a looot of pictures and so on. i met so many friends like one friend i have known for already three years but never met and one childhood friend which i haven't seen anymore since i moved away with about 4 years. she even gave me a little present. it was a little chain with a jade stone (?). ♥ aww, that was just too cute from her!

but one thing i really regret is .. that i didn't checked a photo after it was taken. because i had a friend taken a picture from me and sb .. but it came out that it wasn't made or sth like that... 
and it was like love at first sight ..


it was such a pity but i came to make another picture with him and another friend of mine together. even though the first "picture" was so .. perfect, it's better then nothing, right? ;; 


i have to think positively. 


... he was so good looking, i swear.  ////
like the best looking guy i ever saw (!!) 


noo, it's not good to regret!


if it's destiny we will meet again.. jk. or maybe not?

♥

sooo tired!

i just drew my entry for an contest (?).
i don't think that i'll win 1st, 2nd or 3rd but if im lucky i can win an excess profit and that would be awesome!

my exam which i have written today was .. okey. not rlly bad but not good either.

mhhm.
i think im going to bed now. even if it's still early but tomorrow i'm going to an huuuge event which is just once in a year! therefore i have to wake up at about 3 or 4 am because i still don't know what to wear. ><
geeeeez.

hope tomorrow will be good cause i'm a little scared that i'll become an outsider among my friends. (?)
funny, huh? but i do have this feeling every now and then ..