whats going on??

i never expected us to get in a 'fight'.
getting ignored.. from a person, i never expected to, hurts, lol.

that's

my selfprotection.

suffering D-:

one of my favourite bands is going to perform today in a country which isnt thaat far away. maybe you guys (from which guys am i even talking about lol? remember that i planned to search for a job etc. in order to go to a concert which i already planned with my friend .. but in the end we had to cancel it.. it was like almost decided but then .. :-(
it's so sad. i see so many posts about them everywhere...

but instead of being in london , waiting for them to perform i've got to do many,many homeworks.. plus searching for a work placement (!!)

sigh..

anyways.
here's the present i mentioned somewhere below. ok you cant see very much .. someday i'll make another photo with the 'real' things inside haha
got it from a "rockerrish" (?) friend. most of the people just give sth they like as well as a present, but this one is really girlish with the dried roses and stars. - i told her that i like stars- plus inside is a lot of gold glitter. i really appreciate that gift, cause she seemed to have thought about it a lot (-:

the  paper thing is a tabulatur for a guitar~

aww

my school day was okay. a bit of a fake like usual these days, but after school.. it became really bad again.
i thought of my mistakes again, what could i've done wrong that it become like this, how should i act now. - just what to do next.

but a good friend gave me a present at school, but i didnt open it there, cause i usual prefer t open presents for myself when i'm alone. and because i was in such a bad mood when i arrived at home, i didnt open it right away, but i finally did now. and i've got to say:

it's the best present i've ever got. i'm just so happy about it!
i'll post pictures of it the following days.
aw, i really have to thank her tomorrow!!

acting

it's all just an act. - but i guess its better like that. it's more 'fun' this way and it's not that depressing.

but i'm still hoping for someone to see through this fassade.. 

and through my fake smile.

embarrassing

i was just surfing on the internet and listening to music, but when an awesome cover song started, i started to sing as well.. with the top of my voice.
now i just realized that my mother was not far from me away, standing in the kitchen and my doors were wiiiide, wide open... <:
i'm not a good singer .. but i really enjoy music.

btw. here's the cover song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zVgtM5KVpE&feature=g-vrec

i'm the worst.

aww

i've got school for 2 days now. holidays ended ): but everythings fine so far (:
now i've got japanese lessons again. today will be the first time. it's a new class, but they all have known each other for one year now. i'll get going now, wish me luck please. (:
watashi wa ganbatte ne ~

awesomeness

the concert was really awesome! i'll definitely never forget this day in my hole life!

i even got a sign on my guitar.. it's the most precious thing i own and treasure. someday i'd like to be like him. i want him to notice me that's my goal. that's why i've decided to become a great guitarist. he's such an inspiration and my idol.

i can to that.