...

i really, really don't understand how people can be so cruel..

if i only try to imagine her pain and what she must have gone through .. its terrible, awful.. !

can not be explained into words. wish you from the bottom of my heart to.. rest in peace.

Junko Furuta

book arrived!

the only thing i can cook, nomnom ;;

apart from  my sherlock novels, l change the world and bbc murder crimes (?) i never read books on my own. but now i got interested in books again. cc:

but the last days i bought 2 novels and ordered on the internet 2 more novels. the 4th one arrived today and now i'm at my third one right now ~

thought i won't have much time to read them the next time because i've got to read two other novels for school and exams are coming up /:

got to go to japanese lessons.. <:

have a nice day ♥

seriously,

you make me smile with every single thing you give me.  

quotes!

" after pain you'll know graditude. "

" your efforts will not betray you"  

ah

there are times i should really speak out whats on my mind. it's not because saying nothing is wrong, but its not good for me either and its ok, to speak out, because its my opinion and the truth.

but today i went too far. i just said whats on my mind because i was annoyed hearing sth almost everyday for such a long time. afterwards i felt really sorry and apologized shortly but .. its not like i have undone it ..

i think its somehow ok now, i think. still i'm feeling bad..

but i'll treat her nicely on monday (:

today my mp4 player was sent '_____' i hope it'll arrive soon but i shouldn't be too impatient.

ah. really, really looking forward it! 

a little confuused

as a girl i want to be pretty for the person i like.

i know i'm not fat nor really chubby, but not skinny either. and in order to become prettier and feel more comfortable in my own body i wanted my legs to become skinnier but when in school a boy joked around that i got fatter around my legs and i started moaning with a laugher another boy said that at least i don't lock like a rod? anymore. and that it would be better the way it is now.

i'm so confused haha. thought the boys would usually prefer skinny, pretty legs.

even though, i think i'll continue doing a bit of sport. thought it can't really be called 'sport'. ((:

it's fine. i know whats healthy and what not. i'm still happily eating and so on!

i like him a lot. ignoring is so hard when he's right next to me ;;

(-'':

my mood is going up and down.

words.. even though they're meant as a joke, it really hurts me. and just because i don't show it, it doesnt mean i don't feel anything. smiling it away.. ignoring . <:

in the morning my mood wa slike  uuupwards in the sky. yesterday wasn't able to sit next to him in class because the desks were changed. but today it was like god gave me time with him, haha ! today i had school in the evening. having missed the bus i had to wait and then .. he suddenly appeared in front of me. when i noticed him he was smiling brightly coming towards me. then we went together to school. we didnt talk much but i had to smile the whole time! because i thought it might be a bit strange i tried to cover it a few times with my scarf haha, but in the end i didn't mind anymore.

anyway. thanks for that!

aww

do you know how hard it is to restrain myself?

because i dont want you to know my feelings i can't try to talk to you and be with you the hole time.

it would be way too obvious. thats why i've got to try to ignore you 

even though i always know that you're there.

wish to talk to you and hug you, writing you sms and chat with you.

thinking of you all the time. even the smallest gesture you do makes me happy.

how i wish i could just stay by your side.