oh it's already 21th july~

today's my friends birthday~

okay uhm. *trying to remember what happened the last days*
oh right. yesterday was my last school day and now i've got sommer holidays! but actually .. i still don't have the "holiday-feeling" and i feel like getting sicker everyday .. even if i don't eat ANYTHING at all. )-': 
i don't know what to do. i've even bought a tea for indigestions which i'm drinking right now haha. hope it helps. ''

and.. do you remember the guy who used to hit me all the day and never sais anything nice to me? yesterday on our way home we were alone and ,just before our ways splittet, i thought about what i should say or how i should say goodbye cause it was the last day before holidays, but then he suddenly gave me a kind of hug and wished me happy holidays! i wondered so much about how kind he was to me! i know he's a really nice person but i'm just not used to it if he is nice to ME. anyways i was really happy about it. (-:

btw. i applied nail polish on my nails and it looks awesome. it was inspired by yt tutorials and the starry sky and like you should already know i LOVE the sky. ♥

one more time, one more chance

i just heard this beautiful ost http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH2qHfu45ds&feature=g-vrec. reading the title of the cd "one more time, one more chance" really inspired me to another way of thinking. nowadays i'm always depressed and think of everything i've done wrong and so on.. but .. now it's really a time for change. i know.. i have said that already so many times but there's nothing wrong in trying right? i shouldn't just think of my mistakes but how i can improve on them. it's only human to make mistakes. it's okay. everyone make mistakes and i'm still young, i still have my hole life forward me.
so let's think positive and live your life like you want to.
because you live only once.

12.59

i read this quotation from michelle phan:
" t's okay to struggle towards becoming a better person. It shouldn't matter how long the journey takes... as long as you get there with the people who will walk with you till the end. :)"


and it does really suit here! (-:
plus this image, which she posted. 

bubz. she's such an inspiration!
http://youtu.be/DdGNWyq8nsQ

friday 13rd !

yeeees, but nothing happened. just like every year hehe.

today was pretty good cause i acted like nothing happened. and .. it was the right choice i guess. after school i and three friends went to one of those friend's home and we chilled a bit. went out, bought something to eat and made thiiiis. fast food .. but it tasted good haha. (-:

 yummy ~

AH !! 

i got these posters from my friend today ♥

beast

 and mblaq **

but i went home earlier because i didn't feel well )-:

and i've got to buy a present for my friends who will turn nineteen tomorrow.. ><

btw, isn't my friend's cat lovely? ♥

sorry..?

i don't know why but i feel so left alone. i don't know what to do. i don't know what to fight for. whether it's worth fighting or not.

just apologizing won't help. plus .. what should i even apologize for? such an awkwaard feeling.

it's really depressing.

nevertheless.
i tried to make a good day, have a little bit time for myself and just chill.
i went to a park and just lied down~
it was WONDERFUL. i really enjoyed it a lot. a calm place/park+sun+ music = awesome combination.
have to repeat that. ~
just a picture with my crappy handy camera cause i forgot my digital camera at home.. )-':

when i went home i .. cut fruits OO i was kinda bored i guess.

the combi of grapes, nectarines and bananas is unexpected good!

aaaand today my bagpack and pencil case arrived. ♥
mickey mouuuse!

actually it's for KIDS LOL therefore the straps are a liiittle bit cort ..
 but it's okay. ~

and the pencil case~

a liittle bit big and long.. but let's see.  (-:

mhhm

he just acts as "nothing" happened. and i really dislike that...

anyways. my mangas arrived today~

censored lol ~

and my beloved shoes!!

they themself look AWESOME but .. in reality the quality is sooo bad )-':

btw. i've got a bet between me and my friend. we wanted to get better together in playing guitar.. so we started with the song canon d (fingerstyle) and we have to play it until sunday PERFECTLY otherwise a punishment will wait for us hahah ... i hope i'll make it in time haha ~

.. <:

didn't manage it to remedy the shortcoming (?; just googled the expression. don't know whether its right in this context thought)

but i can't let my friends worry anymore. today one of them even cried because of me because she worried so much.. luckily i don't feel like crying because of "that" anymore. let's so how it will developes.

nevertheless. today i went to make a pretest before the lactose- and fructoseintolerance test.

and .. my stomach doesn't tolerate (?) it. it already grumbled for like one or two hours.

fot the test i made, i wasn't allowed to eat for 12 hours and in the shool i didn'tz eat anything either. that's why all in all i didn't eat for 17,5 hours!!

that's the first i got to eat when i got home. ~

yummy (-:

:x

yeees..

tried to hold back at school but when my friend asked me whats going on, i couldn't hold back. geeez. i didn't want to cry in front of them all.. anyways i'm going to try to fix the thing which is on my mind. 

oh and before i forgot. i got this from my mom which she got from a friend. and because currently i don't really have a pencil case i'd like to use it as it but .. it doesn't really suit my image. haha

someday maybe ~

and today my shoes arrived. ♥

btw. i just found the quotation:

"the best way to predict

the future is to create it"

logical but nice mhm? (-:

-why is the background sometimes white and sometimes not?! geez ;__;-

aaaand:

can't be happy thought.

i sound like an emo .. hahaha

it's just .. all my exams and so on are ove but i still have the feeling that there's something to do. that there's something left.. my heart still can't lift up. (?)

but on friday i went with friends to one of thems home. haha

we ate cake and sang karaoke~ at the end we chased flies .. and it was quite funny. really!

yesterday i again went to my friends house. we played guitar, made pancakes, pudding aaand made a guitar out of ironpearls. ~

our pancakes ~

and the selfmade pudding~
looks good right?? but unfortunately it didn't tasted as good as it looks..
oh here's the tutorial for it:
http://youtu.be/N6JZx86OyXM

last one <3 

:D

right now my life is so messy .. :D
feel like crying.  oh no, i already did. but i can't cry much because otherwise my eyes will swollen up and everybody will notice! i wonder whether my friend noticed it today at school because usually he always hits me and beats me, even if it's just for fun, but today he just hugged me..

hui~

today i felt really happy, cuz my friend who i thought would hate me, didn't seem to do so! yesterday was her birthday but i didn't get to see her at school so i had to give her present to her today and she seemed to be so surprised and happy! i was really glad, cause i felt bad all the time because i kind of left her in the lurch.
but now i feel really relieved. ~

by the way. in the somer holidays i'm going to a music camp with two friends!
i'm so excited about it because the homepage sounded so GREAT! we don't have to know how to play an instrument, we can learn it there, form a band and they'll introduce us to instruments and help us writing our first songs.
honestly, doesn't this sound just AMAZING? ♥
today i got the registration form.

what else.. hmm..
i'm really exhausted and tired but i stil have to prepare my presentation for tomorrow, make homeworks and maybe if i'll be able to manage it i have to begin with my essay.
_

• oh and the results of my docor's visit are .. actually nothing. nothing came out, they didn't know what's the reason of my sickness. maybe it's stress but hopefully not, cause i can't really do something against that, cause it's only naturally. next week i'm going to make a test for lactose- and fructoseintolerance. this, i will have to repeat 3 times after i can get the final results.

• you know? i actually have braces.. and it was planned the day before yesterday the doctor would decide wether they could take it off or not but it was moved FOUR weeks later...
  normally it wouldn't really bother me but i planned to go to a concert with MEET AND GREET and i definitely do not want to go there WITH them!! luckily there's still a little hope that they'll get out before that day.. 

i was really so wannabe like, that a put a sign underneath .. but the picture is amazing, right?